A Quickie On My “Imaginary” Wife – Is He or Isn’t He?

Not too long ago, I had an amusing little triple event the same week, all revolving around my marital status:

– One person had “discovered” I was married through careful analysis of my social media profiles on Twitter and Facebook and later joked about it with my wife at a work social event;

– Another was dead certain I was Single and asked me out;

– and EVERONE else who knew I was at least dating were wondering if my galpal even existed or was she imaginary;

Well, let me get this clear once and for all, though I have to break one of the rules imposed on me and state: Yes I AM Married, and happily so since 2010.

A Quote about The Secret Wife from Conan O'Brian

A Quote about The Secret Wife from Conan O’Brian

There’s never really been any kind of serious secrecy about it, but I do understand the confusion. And worse, because certain OTHER rules that are ABSOLUTE have been imposed on me, some friends might still think my wife is imaginary. So here’s the rules:

1) My wife, hereon stated as “galpal”, does NOT want to be part of my social media circle. She likes people, but hates being the outsider when everyone starts talking about this account or that SEO technique or whatever. So understandably, she is almost never around at any event and doesn’t want to be talked about or even mentioned as well. In fact, she removed her FB page to ensure her virtual privacy and has virtually never touched her Twitter… (set up by me long ago to just reserve her name at the least). Strangely enough, since she knows me to be a bit of a flirt at times, she’s totally at ease with having 2/3 of my friends and work associates to be female.

2) I am to post NO photos of her on FB or Twitter or whatever. Anyone who’s a close enough friend is allowed to see what few photos there are of her on my FB page, which all date over 2 years or more.

I already posted this one in 2007 long ago... so hopefully this doesn't break the new pics law

I already posted this one in 2007 long ago… so hopefully this doesn’t break the new pics law

As such, this blog post is breaking rule #1 right now, but I think this is for a good purpose. Seeing as I don’t wear my ring either (just hate wearing jewelry) and I literally don’t talk about her out of habit now these days, not to mention referring her as “galpal” or not at all, well, you can see why I pretty much show up on my lonesome most times.

So just making this quickie note to my really wide circle of foodies, social media pals and so on who are still wondering to clarify things.

And nope. No new pictures. If you’re a close enough friend or associate, and really want to satisfy your curiosity, friend me on Facebook. Check out my pics in 2010.

Just to let you know, to break that rule is literally a fatalistic action. After all, she knows the exact lethal food allergies I have. Knowing she can take me out anytime… well…

The Turducken VENGEANCE… Part I

In an inspired mood for my cooking…

PART I of the Turducken Vengeance … 

Twas the day before Xmas,
And in my small place,
Dear WK was snoring,
Pillow hiding her face

The Turkey breast was waiting
For me to hit flat
As well as the duck
Chick’n laid on the mat

For Terry had gotten
What he held quite dear
the Makings Turducken
That WK did fear

The celery was all chopped
the Bread was all done
the spices were ready
‘Cause cooking is fun!

So he grabbed the hammer
And hammered away
But this was a taking
way too long you’d say

So he looked around
His kitchen to find
An item to get him
Out from of this bind

He then grabbed a mallet
It was a bit better
Quite balanced and large
than the small hammer

Soon all of the meat
was done and quite flat
now time for the stuff’n
to finish all that

Soon after he had
A roulade all made
of 3 meats all filled
into pan where it laid

The oven was set
at 350 degrees
The results would soon show
the smells would soon tease

Then WK woke up
the loud noise my oh my
made sleeping quite hard
and said “he will now die”

But Terry had gone 
To the shower he went
Off to prep for the day
With dreams meat heaven sent

And in the hot stove
Did WK now did see
A Turducken Roulade
And she said angrily

“I ordered that boy”
“Nevermore could he make”
“Too bold does he act”
“My orders must take”

She bided her time
While he went on his day
with meat dreams of glory
To enjoy the next day…. 

To be continued….

PART II FOR XMAS DAY!

Image

Picture from http://crunchychewy.blogspot.ca/ , a truly AWESOME food blog. I hope my roulade tomorrow looks 1/2 as good!