The 419 Request

New Post coming up… but in the meantime, here’s one from my former blog that I thought was cute…

Ever get one of those stupid 419 requests for help to manage huge amounts of money, in return for a bank account and a small amount of wired money to start things off? Basically people still fall for that, and usually either really desperate or just plain gullible or stupid, but I’ve always found such requests as a thing of amusement. So here’s the text of the letter sent to me… and my amused responce. I’m waiting to see if I’ll get the $100 million 🙂


On 11/08/12 12:20 PM, tarek alquaheed wrote:


Asalam Aleikun

I have a business that might be of your interest, can you be able to manage 100million USD for a period of 10 years? I want to invest that amount to good lucrative projects and i am looking for a good investment manager

Let me know your interest

Allah Bless You

Tarek Alquaheed

My Responce (under an email called


Mr. Alquaheed,

I am quite interested in this venture, however, you must understand the following:

1- I have never managed any money in amounts over $1000 before, and of course only in rolls of pennies. To be within my comfort zone, can all $100 million be available in pennies?;

2- I lose huge amounts of money on the stock market, casino, the ponies, and of course many many ladies of the night (and a few men as well);

3- the amount that you wish me to manage, is just enough to cover the secret underground lair I plan to build as I will start my vigilante career as Boatman, champion of dragon boat paddlers everywhere.

4- did I mention that I really like to play the ponies? and prostitutes? Really really do.

5- Actually as I think of it, I’d love to bathe in money. Can $1 million be made available in $5 denominations? I love the feel of cash against my skin, especially in the nether regions.

If this is all agreeable, please let me know what I have to do to proceed. I’ll gladly begin all necessary preparations myself.

Sorry, I myself am not muslim, so I can only offer my own regards In the name of the one that I believe in based on my own personal beliefs, that is He who is the bringer of peace and all things good after a baseball game, the one and only Colonel Sanders,

– T

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